I'm so honored to introduce you to my sweet friend, Meredith Adams. I have been so blessed by Meredith's love for Jesus, her faith in the midst of the entertainment industry, and her dear encouragement in my own life – it is with joy that I get to "share" her with you here tonight...
It’s everywhere. It’s in the grocery store, restaurant, and church. It’s at the mall, the airport, the beach. It’s in songs, novels, and movies. It’s the stuff of fairytales.
For 27 years I waited to fall in love. It was my hope, my prayer, my longing.
I have always trusted God with my life, known His plan was better than mine. But somewhere along the way I couldn’t help but start to wonder…
Is God holding out on me?
Have you ever felt this way? Like the Lord is withholding something from you? A relationship? A spouse? A baby? A job? Some sort of healing?
In 2 Kings the Lord's people were thirsty. Like really thirsty. Like walking through a desert with not a drop of water in sight kind of thirsty. They cried out to God in desperation. And I'm pretty sure the answer He gave them was not what they wanted to hear:
"Make this valley full of ditches." (2 Kings 3:16)
"God, you want us to do more work? To labor in this beating sun for more hours? Didn't you hear us?! We're thirsty!!" they likely cried out. Needless to say there was probably some grumbling in the desert that day.
I wanted so badly to fall in love, to experience a relationship. I felt as if I were missing out on one of the greatest gifts this life has to offer, one of the greatest gifts God has to offer… love. Yet He didn’t seem to be offering it to me.
As if being single for virtually all of high school and college weren’t enough, I have watched, one by one, as my closest friends have found someone with whom to share their lives. I have watched, one by one, as they have walked down the aisle in glowing white. And I have watched, one by one, as many have begun to have children and build a family.
And I have wondered...
Is God holding out on me?
Matthew 6:33 is a verse frequently at the forefront of my mind:
“Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
Well, God knew the desire of my heart, and I was delighting myself in Him… So why wasn’t He giving me my desire?
Then one day I did fall in love. And almost a year later the relationship ended. Having now experienced the pain of a breakup, I realize for the first time in my life that maybe those words that were once so infuriating to hear were actually quite accurate.
The truth is, I am so thankful I didn’t fall in love at 17 years old, when I was ill-equipped to handle the intensity of being in love and the pain of parting ways. I am so thankful I haven’t fallen in love multiple times and had to experience multiple breakups. I am so thankful that for the years I was saved from “all that pain and heartache.”
Maybe God wasn’t holding out on me after all.
Maybe He was protecting me. Maybe He was guarding my heart. Maybe He had my best interest in mind all along.
Maybe He was answering my prayers in His own way, in His own timing. Maybe He still is.
And while my first relationship didn’t work out, I believe my experience of being single for so many years, combined with my experience of that first relationship, have equipped me now to love my future husband in a way I never would have been able to before.
And while I am back to being single, back to waiting, I am beginning to see things a little more from His grand perspective and a little less from my own limited perspective.
When His people asked for water in 2 Kings, they were tired, run down. There was no sign of any water appearing. The Lord’s instruction to dig ditches probably sounded more like punishment than provision.
Yet God was preparing the way for His provision. Through their labor. Through their endurance. They just couldn’t see it yet.
Nonetheless they acted in faith and, lo and behold, the next morning, "there it was—water flowing from the direction of Edom!" (2 Kings 3:20)… by way of the very ditches they had dug.
Sometimes the Lord makes us dig the very ditches through which His provision will come.
Scripture doesn’t say, "They trusted him, because He answered their prayers." It says:
"He answered their prayers, because they trusted Him." (1 Chronicles 5:7)
I don’t think God wants me to be alone. I no longer believe He’s holding out on me. Quite the opposite, in fact.
I believe He wants me to love and be loved. I believe He wants me to experience His great gift of marriage in the fullest measure. And I believe He’s preparing my heart each day in a way that will bless my future husband and ultimately bless His kingdom in the greatest way possible.
And that, my friends, is worth the wait. That is worth the grueling work of ditch digging in this “desert.”
Whatever desert through which you are wandering, whatever you are striving so desperately for, God has a plan, a vision, and a provision in store.
Trust in Him. Trust in His plan. Trust in His goodness.
“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.” – 2 Corinthians 4:17
"One may not reach the dawn save by the path of the night." – Kahlil Gibran
“Weeping may last for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” – Psalm 30:5
Meredith Adams is an actress and writer in Los Angeles, CA. She is currently producing and starring in the series she wrote, How to Lose a Girl in One Date, finishing up her first screenplay, and working as a professional "auditioner" until the Lord provides her next role! Meredith's goal is to help spread the light of Christ throughout the entertainment industry in any way that the Lord would allow her to be so humbly used – for His purposes and for His glory. You may keep up with Meredith through her blog, on IMDb, and her website.
Photo credit for sky scenes: Meredith Adams. 2014.